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A woman and man get into a car accident. Both of their cars are totally demolished, but amazingly neither of them are hurt.
After they crawl out of the wreckage, the woman says, "Wow, look at our cars - there's nothing left! Thank God we are all right. This must be a sign from Him that we should be friends and not try to pin the blame on each other." The man replies, "Oh yes, I agree with you completely." The woman points to a bottle on the ground and says, "And here's another miracle. Somehow this bottle of scotch from my back seat didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this scotch and celebrate our good fortune." Then she hands the bottle to the man. The man nods his head in agreement, opens it, and drinks about a third of the bottle to calm his nerves. He then hands it back to the woman. The woman takes the bottle, immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the man. The man asks, "Aren't you having any?" The woman replies, "No. I think I'll just wait for the police... I'll let them decide who's fault it is." Remember to SAVE The PIN
All of the organs are deciding who should be in charge:
"I should be in charge," said the brain , "I run all the body's systems, without me nothing would happen." "I should be in charge," said the heart , "I circulate oxygen and nutrients all over." "No! I should be in charge," said the stomach, "I process the food that gives us energy." "I should be in charge," said the legs, "without me the body couldn't go anywhere." "I should be in charge," said the eyes, "I allow the body to see where it goes." "I should be in charge," said the anus, "I am responsible for waste removal." All of the other body parts laughed at the anus and insulted him. So he shut down. Within a few days, the brain had a terrible headache, the stomach was bloated, the legs got wobbly, the eyes got watery, and the heart pumped toxic blood. They all decided that the anus should be the boss. What is the moral of the story? Even though everybody else does all of the work the a-hole is usually in charge. Remember to SAVE The PIN
A woman goes to the veterinarian with her pig that appears to be sleeping.
The woman waits as the vet inspects the pig. Then the vet comes out and tells the woman, "I'm sorry... But your pig is dead." The woman, shocked, yells at the vet, "Are you serious?! Did you run tests? He could just be in a coma or something." The vet sighs and heads back to her office with the woman. The vet leaves the room and returns with a dog. The dog approaches the pig and slowly sniffs him from head to toe. He looks up at the woman with sad eyes and walks out. The vet leaves and returns with a cat. The cat approaches the pig and stares at him for a solid 5 minutes. It then meows loudly and slowly exits the room. The vet tells the woman, "See, your pig has definitely passed on.” The vet walks to the register and hands the woman a bill for $300. The woman is again outraged, "$300 just so you could tell me my little piggy died?" The vet replies, "It was only $40 until you made me get a Lab Report and a Cat Scan." Remember to SAVE The PIN
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